2003-09-01 - 1:49 p.m.
I just spent nearly every evening for the last three weeks with a man. Who was kind, interesting, very smart, funny, cute. But every night before we met, I'd think 'I don't want to do this.' And then I'd go anyways and have a good time.
This weekend, before I went back to Austin for a wedding, we came to San Miguel and Saturday was dreamy. We spent all day at the hot springs, watched the sunset from a rooftop bar above the Jardin, had a really good talk over coffee, saw a band at Mama Mia's. It felt really incredible. All with the understanding that this wasn't going anywhere because we were both newly divorced and not ready.
Meeting him was an amazing twist of fate, the that we're working through matched up so perfectly. It was almost like dating a younger, wiser version of myself. Knowing him has done me a world of good.
And then the next day I was ready for it to be over. I can think of all sorts of nice tidy psychological reasons for what went down, but right now I don't care. I'm just so glad to have all my time and space to myself again.
I am not ready for a relationship, clearly. Or anything remotely resembling one.
On an up note, thanks to the insight and encouragement of the aforementioned fellow, I was able to send a final email to my ex. And when I say 'final' I mean nothing other than FINAL. I told him if he sends me anything else, I will block his addresses.
But then I decided to just go ahead and block them anyways.
